


Barton To The Rescue

by Siberianskys



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Child Neglect, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Implied Relationships, Language, M/M, Mutants, Xavier Institute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:26:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21616810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Siberianskys/pseuds/Siberianskys
Summary: Prompts:  Baby Wearing Only A Diaper, Facepaint, Bald, Carrying A Stuffed Animal
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier
Comments: 6
Kudos: 66
Collections: Allbingo





	Barton To The Rescue

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Allbingo's People Watching Fest.

Steve swerved his motorcycle to the side of the country road to avoid hitting the baby toddling down the middle wearing only a diaper and dragging some sort of stuffed toy behind him. When Steve climbed off his bike to get a closer look, the toddler turned out to be a little boy, his face flushed pink and stained with tears, half streaking some sort of paint off his face. He cringed as the baby started to screech in what he thought must be fear. He tried getting down on his knees and talking calmly to the boy, but the noise just got louder. He scooped the boy up and rushed him to the side of the road as a pick-up truck sped toward them. Steve was going to have to make a call about the ridiculous way people were driving in this day and age, but for now he was going to have to use his mobile phone to get help for the little one that was still sobbing at an alarming volume. 

The only numbers that Steve had were for S.H.I.E.L.D. and the building that Tony Stark had taken to calling Avengers' Tower. Calling Mr. Stark seemed a marginally better option than placing a call to Nick Fury about an abandoned baby. At least there was a chance that Mr. Stark's girlfriend would be available. From what Agent Romanov had told him, Miss Potts was a very capable woman. She should know how to find out where he should take the boy. 

After dialing, an unfamiliar voice answered Steve with, "Tony Stark's residence, this is J.A.R.V.I.S., how may I direct your call?"

"May I speak to Miss Potts," Steve asked. 

"Who may I ask is calling?" J.A.R.V.I.S. asked. 

"This is Steve Rogers," Steve said. 

"Captain Rogers," J.A.R.V.I.S. said, "I'm sorry, Miss Potts is unavailable. She and Mr. Stark are out of the country on business. 

"No, I'm sorry," Steve said, "I just didn't know who else to contact."

"Maybe I can be of assistance?" J.A.R.V.I.S. asked.

"I don't suppose you would have any idea where I should take an abandoned kid besides the police department ?" Steve asked. 

"I wouldn't advise that," J.A.R.V.I.S. said. 

"Is there something wrong with the police department?" Steve asked. 

"I'll just say," J.A.R.V.I.S. said, "that a couple of your teammates would be displeased if the child ended up in Children's Services. I will ping your phone for your location and send proper help."

"We'll be here," Steve said.

It hadn't been three quarters of an hour when a Quinjet flew over him as he held the now sleeping boy against his chest. Steve was speechless when the ramp lowered and Hawkeye came running down it at a quick clip. Steve couldn't imagine why J.A.R.V.I.S. would choose Barton as their rescuer, but he wasn't going to question their good fortune of having a pilot coming to their aid. Flying was the quickest way he knew to get the boy to safety.

"Relax, Cap," Barton said, "bring him aboard. I'll stow your bike. I brought a diaper bag so he won't have to make the trip with a wet ass."

"Language," Steve said. 

"I thought you were a soldier," Barton said. 

"I was," Steve said, "but I wasn't raised in a barn,"

"I guess one of our mothers knew how to teach manners," Barton said, taking the boy from Steve and heading back into the Quinjet. 

Steve decided that keeping his mouth shut was the best response to Barton's comment about his mother. Steve watched and waited while Barton took off the toddler's diaper and cleaned him up. Once the little boy was diaper and re-dressed, Steve found himself holding him once more and Barton was headed back to the cock-pit. 

"Put the kid in the car seat and strap yourself in," Barton said. "The Professor is expecting us."

Steve thought he must have looked confused, because Barton was using language that the kid definitely shouldn't be hearing. 

"Hand him over," Barton said, taking the toddler from Steve, "and go strap yourself in. I'll take care of this. Once he had the boy in the car seat, Barton took the pilot's seat and lifted off, turning the Quinjet toward upstate New York and in the direction of The Xavier Institute. Barton didn't want to know what Professor X wanted with this kid. When he landed on the institute's front lawn, Barton realized just how much he really didn't want to know. Xavier was there himself in the flesh along with the member of the X-Men known as Beast.

"Who--" Steve began to ask. 

"Just hand the kid over to the blue guy," Barton said. "I'll tell you later."

"Thank you for finding him," Professor Xavier said. 

"You're welcome," Steve said as he handed the toddler to the blue man that Barton had indicated before he turned and headed back up the Quinjet's ramp. The super soldier caught the bald man in the wheelchair's words--stunned by them.

"Agent Barton, if you ever get tired of S.H.I.E.L.D or the Avengers.," Professor Xavier said, "you're always welcome here ."

"I'm just a guy," Barton said. "I thought you only took mutants."

Professor Xavier smiled. "And where did you think you got that perfect aim of yours from?"

"Fuck me," Barton said. 

"I don't think your husband would much care for that," Professor Xavier said. "I know mine wouldn't."


End file.
